Falling for a Dark Soul Update

FFADS Chapter 6 on FFn

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FFADS Chapter 6 on Stars

FFADS Chapter 6 on Wattpad

FFADS Chapter 6 on FicPad

With each step away from Bella’s brownstone, I felt like I needed to turn back around and stay there. Part of my soul was inside that building. Dramatic, much, Cullen? I felt comfortable there. Even though things were awkward between Bella and me, the warmth I experienced in her home seeped into my bones.

I wanted more of it.

I needed that warmth.

It didn’t make a single bit of sense.

You’re losing your damned mind, Edward.

And, when Bella started crying … I wanted to take her into my arms and make all her pain go away. I did hug her. It felt right, but so different than I expected. Different in a good way. She melted against me, like all the air had left her. I could feel her body tremble as she gripped my sweater, clinging to me like was a life raft.

It felt good, giving someone support and being their rock. She’d been shouldering all of this alone.

Bella Swan was simply amazing.

“What the fuck am I doing?” I grumbled. “I’m so confused.” Sam whimpered, his tail wagging. “Come on, bud. Do your business, please?” He barked, walking to a patch of grass.

Once Sam was done answering the call of nature, we made our way to my car. I had to park around the block from Bella’s home. She was right that there was no parking on her street. Unlocking my car, I helped Sam into the back of my Tesla and slid into the driver’s seat. I eased away from the curb, driving to my condo. Ironically enough, Bella lived about five minutes from me. Her place was in a good neighborhood, with a lot of families.

A perfect place for her and the little one.

After the short drive, I rode up to my home. But, it didn’t feel like home. More like a sterile, empty shell … like me. In my condo, I changed into a pair of loose sleep pants. I refilled Sam’s water bowl, leaning against the kitchen counter with another bottle of beer. “Did you feel it tonight, Sam?” I asked.

He looked back at me, water dribbling down his coat. His responding bark was low before going back to drinking some water.

“I’m losing my damned mind,” I grumbled. “Bella Swan is twisting me into knots. Everything in me is telling me to … walk away, but I can’t. I want to be closer.”

There was something about Bella that drew me in. She was kind, forgiving and so loving. She’d forgiven my horrific gaff that fateful day. I still felt awful for hurting her so cruelly; it’s why I went out of my way to help her. However, it was the way she cared for her sister. It was beautiful. Even when Katie was giving Bella sass, she was firm but kind. She wasn’t cruel or mean. Despite their situation, it was apparent that Bella and Katie loved each other very much.

Katie was adorable and very smart, with pale skin, dark blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes. She was filled with sass, energy and giggles. However, I saw the sadness in her eyes of a child who lost everything. She’d lost her parents too young. Katie, however, was lucky to have Bella in her a life. Katie would never know the harsh realities going into the system. She’d be spared the nightmare of having creepy foster fathers, abusive foster mothers and indifferent foster siblings. Katie had family that loved her, unconditionally. She had …

Bella …

Who was a saint.

At least, she was a saint in my eyes.

Restoration Update

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Restoration Chapter 18 Update on AO3

Restoration Chapter 18 Update on FFn

Restoration Chapter 18 Update on TWCS

Marcus had made arrangements for their party to be in a private party room. Everyone was settled in their seats, enjoying beer or wine if they were an adult while Nessie, Alice, Jasper and Marcus’s son, Alex, had pop. Bella was seated between Edward and Garrett. To the right of Garrett was a beautiful brunette with hazel eyes and a warm smile. She was younger than both Garrett and Edward, still going to college part-time. She was about twenty-three, but was paying her own way.

Bella liked her instantly.

She was everything that Garrett needed. A fellow smart-ass with the patience to deal with his snarky comments. Not to mention, brilliant, getting her degree in business/finance.

“Daddy, can I go play on the games with Alice?” Nessie asked, looking up at her dad with her large brown eyes.

Jacob hesitated, afraid to let his daughter go somewhere without him. The attempted abduction by his bitch ex-wife rattled him to the core. Even though Leah was going to be in jail for the weekend, he was still terrified that someone else would sweep her away.

“We’ll go with them,” Bella volunteered, wiping her lips. “Edward, shall we?”

Edward beamed, taking Bella’s hand and walking with Alice, Jasper and little Nessie. Alice and Nessie went directly to the Dance Dance Revolution game, swiping their cards. Jasper was taking pictures with his cell phone, laughing at how Nessie was kicking his girlfriend’s ass. Edward had his arm wrapped around Bella’s waist, kissing her temple every so often. Bella reveled in his sweet affections, adoring every moment of them.

“Miss Bella! Come do this with me!” Nessie laughed, bouncing on the game.

“I’ll try, Nessie,” Bella laughed, walking up to the spot that Alice had vacated. “I’m not a very good dancer.”

“She lies, Nessie,” Alice snickered. “Aunt Bella is a great dancer. Especially on the top of bars.”

Kate

Restoration Update

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Restoration Chapter 10 Update on FFn

Restoration Chapter 10 Update on TWCS 

After Bella’s declaration, Edward noticed that Garrett was dressed fairly nicely. He felt like a schlub in his work clothes, a pair of dusty jeans and a ratty t-shirt. Garrett noticed his discomfort and led him to one of the refinished bathrooms. Garrett had brought some dress clothes from Edward’s closet along with his body wash, shampoo, cologne and hair goop. Garrett never used hair goop. He just kept it fairly short to avoid using the hair goop.

Edward showered, scouring his body and taking the extra time to shave. He dressed in the clothes that Garrett brought for him. Shockingly, Garrett did fairly well in his choices. A pair of black dress pants with a white shirt, black skinny tie and one of his vests. Garrett teased him because of his vests, but Edward liked them. They accented his lean, muscular frame and gave him a place to hang his grandfather’s pocket watch that he received when he had died when Edward was in high school. It was one of his most prized possessions.

Finishing getting dressed, Edward went out into the main area of the condo. The sleek dining room table had been set and dinner, catered from Pink Door, had been laid out on the table, along with an elegant, but sexy table setting. Garrett had some music playing through the sound system they’d installed and Bella was dancing unconsciously, her sexy body swaying to the music. Edward walked over to her, spinning her to his body and leading her in a simple, but seductive dance. She laughed, following his lead, rolling her hips along with his in the sensual dance. Garrett joined them, standing behind Bella. His arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her ass to his crotch. Slowly, he kissed her neck, tasting her warm skin.

However, Garrett would not kiss Bella on the mouth. That was for Edward and Edward alone. It was one of the things that Bella and Garrett discussed while Edward was washing up. Bella loved Garrett’s kisses, but she wanted to ensure that Edward knew that she was going to be with him forever. Yes, they shared a closer bond with obviously being in love with each other and the trust of having anal sex, but Edward would get all of Bella’s kisses.

And after tonight, Garrett would be relegated to the friend-zone. Garrett was okay with that. He recognized the attraction between Edward and Bella. He knew it was something incredibly special and he would not do anything to get in the way.

 

Bella's Tattoo

 

Edward's Tattoo

 

Bella's Outfit

Star Crossed Update

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Star Crossed Chapter Twenty Update on AO3

“Bella, you have to sleep,” Edward whispered, walking to where I was standing in the mess hall. I was staring at the vastness of space, looking at how the stars twinkled innocently and holding a cooling cup of tala root tea. Normally, it soothed me, but the tea unsettled my stomach.  I wrinkled my nose, knowing that my cousin, Norelle, found her death among these same stars. “You haven’t rested since we got the news from Captain Riker.”

“I can’t sleep,” I said, narrowing my eyes, walking to recycle my tea. “Not with the Alliance preparing to slaughter our people. Not with what they did to N’essie, Norelle, Marcusi. It’s overwhelming and sickening, ti’ane.”

“We won’t let that happen and we will avenge the deaths of N’essie and Norelle. We will hopefully save Counselor Marcusi and reunite him with his mate,” Edward replied, turning me to face him and cupping my cheeks with his large, warm hands. “But, in order for us to be at our best, we need to get as much rest as possible. Once the battle has begun, we can’t sleep until it’s over.” He ran his fingers down my spots, which continued to glow a deep orange, the color of determination. “I’m certain that Rose can give you a sedative.”

“No. I do not want to be groggy tomorrow,” I muttered, shaking my head and putting my ear against his chest. I listened to the steady thrum of his strong, pure heart, allowing the beats to calm me. It worked better than any sedative that Rose could have administered or the tala root tea. As I snuggled closer to my mate, my eyelids grew droopy. Edward bent down and picked me up easily, sweeping me off my feet. I leaned my cheek against his shoulder, allowing his warmth to continue to calm me. By the time we got back to our quarters, I was nearly asleep. Edward tucked me into our bed and curled himself around me, protecting both of us from the impending battle. If only we could stay entangled in each other’s arms, hiding away from the dangers that were awaiting us.

“I love you,” he whispered, his lips pressing behind my ear. His arms tightened around me and I let his strong body and his pacifying actions to lure me further into sleep.

Empress Nirabelle's Imperial Fleet Uniform

Imperial Crest

Edward and Bella's Mating Bands

Edward's sword

Buying Love Update

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Buying Love Chapter One Update on AO3

“Yes, Dad. I know,” I grumbled. “I have a date! I promise you. I will not come to the opening of Swan Towers unattended.” Maybe I can bring Rosalie. My father didn’t say that the date had to be male.

“You can’t just bring Rosalie, Isabella Marie,” Dad grumped.  Damn it. “Your picture is already splashed on the newspaper gossip section because of your good-for-nothing ex-husband. I told you not to marry that asshole!” Fucker.

Don’t remind me, Charlie. “He’s not my ex yet, Dad,” I muttered. “Riley, the asshole, has yet to sign the divorce paperwork. He thinks he can get more money out of our settlement. Unlikely. He signed a pre-nup.”

“At least you listened to me about that, Isabella Marie. Do I need to send over Carlisle to kick his ass?” Dad snarled. I rolled my eyes. “I will. I got him a new gun for his birthday and I’m certain that Carlisle would love to try it out on Riley’s cheating ass. Use his balls for target practice.”

“Tempting, Charlie,” I deadpanned. “But, if he dies, they will come to me first. I don’t want to go to jail for having my ex-husband assassinated, as nice as that would be. Relax, though. I have a date for the opening. And no, it’s not Rose. I love her, but not in that way.” I shot a look at my best friend. She was filing her nails as she worked on her iPad. “It’s a friend of hers.”

“Well, as long as you have a date, that’s all that matters. We have an image to uphold, Isabella,” Dad said. “Your ex-husband is not helping that image.”

“I know, Dad. You’ve told me about a hundred times,” I sighed, falling back onto my bed in the penthouse of Swan Towers. “Trust me to have an appropriate date for the opening tomorrow night.”

“And get Riley to sign the divorce papers,” Dad said. 

Bella Swan

Rose Hale

Charlie

Bella's Bedroom

Bathroom

Bella's Library

Bella's Living Room

Guest Bathroom

Bella's Bathroom

Bella's Kitchen

Bella's Family Room

Bella's Dining Room

Guest Bedroom

Sad News ...

The past few months have been incredibly tough. It all came to a head today, unfortunately. Early this morning, my mom, who had been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in March, started to fade away while she was at the hospital. When arrived at the hospital, my mom had passed away five minutes previous.

She had been in pain for so long. It started with a compression fracture in her back. She had that addressed with a verteboplasty. For about two weeks, she was great. Smiling, happy, loving and wanting to fight her cancer diagnosis. Then, we got bad news from the radiation oncologist (who had initially said that we'd have her back to normal in five to eight radiation treatments). The cancer had spread, become too diffuse.

So, she went in for chemotherapy.

That shit is worse than the cancer. It's freaking poison.

After she started the chemo, she got so weak and she deteriorated so quickly. Within three weeks of her starting chemo, she had developed a rash on her backside and was in constant pain. Early Saturday morning (like at 4:30), my dad called me to help me get her up from a fall. We couldn't do it since she was so weak. We called the ambulance and she was admitted to the hospital.

I won't bore you with the details, but she's no longer in pain. I'm relieved that she is at peace. Okay, 10% relieved and 90% devastated. My mom was my best friend, the person I turned to when I needed advice, reinforcement and love. I don't know who to turn to now.

My dad is a great man, but he's distant and not nurturing like my mom.

My aunt, my mom's sister, is wonderful, but she's not my mom. Never will be, either.

I want to remember my mom as she was. Vivacious, happy, laughing, spitfire. I want to celebrate her life. I want to remember her voice, her smell, her smile. I want to remember her like this ...

Now, what does this mean for my stories and future updates? I honestly don't know when I'll feel up to writing. I tried to work on a story today, but my mind kept going to her. I love my mom and I want to honor her. 

Thank you for your prayers, condolences and words of kindness. They mean more to me than words can say. I wish I could have her back, but hearing how much she was loved reminds me of how she impacted and touched so many people's lives. However, it was my life that she touched the most and I will miss her for the rest of my life. 

I love you, Mommy. I hope that you are having a scotch with Uncle Mario, hugging Papa and kissing Grandma. They missed you and I'll see you soon.