Falling for a Dark Soul Update

 FFADS Chapter 32 on FFn

FFADS Chapter 32 on AO3

FFADS Chapter 32 on fanfiction.online

FFADS Chapter 32 on Stars

FFADS Chapter 32 on Wattpad

“Bella!” I yelled as she slumped onto the floor. Her face was devoid of all color and she was panting so quickly. I hit the call button. Rhonda ran inside and pointed to the ground. “She had a panic attack.”

Rhonda’s eyes widened and she jumped into action. She straightened Bella and placed an oxygen mask over her face. “Has she had a history of panic attacks?” Rhonda asked.

“No, but things have been a bit extraordinary lately,” I mumbled. It was my fault, really.

Rhonda stayed by Bella’s side and I saw Bella move, trying to remove the oxygen mask. “Calm down, Bella. You had a panic attack,” Rhonda said calmly. “Take deep breaths. Slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I wanted to be by her side, but the mountain of plaster on my leg prevented me from doing so, along with my injuries to my hip and ribcage. I nervously twisted my hospital bracelet as Rhonda quietly helped Bella and got her back onto the chair. “Keep that oxygen on and focus on your breathing. I’m going to get you something to eat. You’re far too skinny,” Rhonda chided. “Your blood sugar probably bottomed out along with your panic attack.”

Rhonda scurried away and Bella closed her eyes. I looked at her, seeing how much she’d changed since I’d last seen her. “Bella, I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“It’s not entirely your fault, Edward,” she said, removing the mask. “It was a perfect storm of bullshit. Normally, I could handle it, but it’s been a lot.”

“You shouldn’t have to handle it,” I sighed. “Keep the mask on, angel. Please?”

Her eyes fluttered closed and tears fell. She put the mask back on. “All I wanted was for you to talk to me, that night, now, and in the future. I had support from Alice, my old boss, Linda and Emmett, but the one person I wanted to make it all better hurt me so very deeply.”

I blew out a breath, trying to not cry. “Bella, angel, please come by me. I want to help you,” I whispered, moving so she could lay down on the bed with me.

She looked up at me, her eyes brimmed with tears and she looked so torn. With a huff, she got up and sat down on the edge of the bed. I took her hand, gently tugging on it and she lay down. Her tears soaked my hospital gown and she gripped it so tightly. I held her as close as I could. Every inch of my body was on fire with pain, but it didn’t matter because I was holding my Bella.

Her cries eventually quieted. I looked down at her, seeing that she was down for the count. Rhonda walked back in, carrying a tray. “Apparently, you’re better than Xanax,” she quipped.

“It’s my fault,” I frowned, turning to kiss her forehead.

“Edward, if it were your fault, she wouldn’t be curled up in your arms,” Rhonda smirked. “Though, that’s not good for your injuries.”

“Don’t move her,” I whispered. “I think that this is the first time she’s relaxed in almost two weeks.”

“I’ll give her an hour. That’s when I’m off shift. The woman who will relieve me … she’s a bitch and will throw her out for being in your bed,” Rhonda explained, smiling at me. “When she wakes up, encourage her to eat.”

I nodded, pressing my lips to Bella’s forehead. As she slept, I took a closer look at her. She said I looked awful, but when in reality, she looked like a ghost. Her skin was almost translucent and the stitches under eyebrow were a stark contrast to her pale skin.

Even though I was hurting, it felt like heaven having her back in my arms. I just reveled being able to hold her.

Falling for a Dark Soul Teaser

 “Bella!” I yelled as she slumped onto the floor. Her face was devoid of all color and she was panting so quickly. I hit the call button. Rhonda ran inside and pointed to the ground. “She had a panic attack.”

Rhonda’s eyes widened and she jumped into action. She straightened Bella and placed an oxygen mask over her face. “Has she had a history of panic attacks?” Rhonda asked.

“No, but things have been a bit extraordinary lately,” I mumbled. It was my fault, really.

Rhonda stayed by Bella’s side and I saw Bella move, trying to remove the oxygen mask. “Calm down, Bella. You had a panic attack,” Rhonda said calmly. “Take deep breaths. Slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I wanted to be by her side, but the mountain of plaster on my leg prevented me from doing so, along with my injuries to my hip and ribcage. I nervously twisted my hospital bracelet as Rhonda quietly helped Bella and got her back onto the chair. “Keep that oxygen on and focus on your breathing. I’m going to get you something to eat. You’re far too skinny,” Rhonda chided. “Your blood sugar probably bottomed out along with your panic attack.”

Rhonda scurried away and Bella closed her eyes. I looked at her, seeing how much she’d changed since I’d last seen her. “Bella, I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“It’s not entirely your fault, Edward,” she said, removing the mask. “It was a perfect storm of bullshit. Normally, I could handle it, but it’s been a lot.”

“You shouldn’t have to handle it,” I sighed. “Keep the mask on, angel. Please?”

Her eyes fluttered closed and tears fell. She put the mask back on. “All I wanted was for you to talk to me, that night, now, and in the future. I had support from Alice, my old boss, Linda and Emmett, but the one person I wanted to make it all better hurt me so very deeply.”

I blew out a breath, trying to not cry. “Bella, angel, please come by me. I want to help you,” I whispered, moving so she could lay down on the bed with me.

She looked up at me, her eyes brimmed with tears and she looked so torn. With a huff, she got up and sat down on the edge of the bed. I took her hand, gently tugging on it and she lay down. Her tears soaked my hospital gown and she gripped it so tightly. I held her as close as I could. Every inch of my body was on fire with pain, but it didn’t matter because I was holding my Bella.

Her cries eventually quieted. I looked down at her, seeing that she was down for the count. Rhonda walked back in, carrying a tray. “Apparently, you’re better than Xanax,” she quipped.

“It’s my fault,” I frowned, turning to kiss her forehead.

“Edward, if it were your fault, she wouldn’t be curled up in your arms,” Rhonda smirked. “Though, that’s not good for your injuries.”

“Don’t move her,” I whispered. “I think that this is the first time she’s relaxed in almost two weeks.”

“I’ll give her an hour. That’s when I’m off shift. The woman who will relieve me … she’s a bitch and will throw her out for being in your bed,” Rhonda explained, smiling at me. “When she wakes up, encourage her to eat.”

Falling for a Dark Soul Update

FFADS Chapter 31 on FFn

FFADS Chapter 31 on AO3

FFADS Chapter 31 on fanfiction.online

FFADS Chapter 31 on Stars

FFADS Chapter 31 on Wattpad

“Esme … it’s Edward …” I sniffled. “He’s been in an accident.”

“What happened?” Esme breathed.

“I don’t know exactly, but he’s been brought to Olympia Medical Center. His entire left side is beat to hell,” I cried. “He’s going in for surgery because his left leg was pinned or something. He put me down as his next of kin. I should have called you. I’m sorry.”

“Bella, honey, you need to breathe,” Esme said. “You’re getting hysterical.”

“This is all my fault, Esme. My fault. All of it. He’s in here because of me,” I sobbed. Esme did her best to calm me down over the phone. “I’m sorry, Esme. You shouldn’t have to deal with my bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit. You’ve been through hell and back. So has my son,” Esme said soothingly. “It’s understandable that you’re overwrought. When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”

“Not since before I left,” I said.

“Sweetheart, that’s over a week,” Esme chided.

“Look, I wanted to let you know that Edward was in a car accident,” I sighed. “I’m going to stay here at the hospital …”

“What about Katie?”

“The police chief, Mark, his wife is watching over Katie,” I explained. “I’ll probably go back when Mark drives to Forks. I … I just wanted you to know.”

“I’ll call you when we get our travel plans finalized,” Esme said. “Bella, please, take care of yourself. I love you and Katie as much as I love my son.”

“Let me know if you need me to pick you up,” I murmured.

“We’ll make arrangements for everything. Thank you for calling, Bella,” Esme whispered.

We said our goodbyes and I curled up in the conference room. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I allowed myself a few moments of grief. Mark poked his head in the conference room, giving me a sympathetic look. “Are you okay, Bella?”

“Today has been a banner day. First, I get fleeced by Lauren Crowley, my boyfriend with whom I had a huge disagreement blind-sided me and my heart was cracked into a million pieces when you were on my doorstep tonight. I can’t take anymore,” I sniffled.

Mark sat down next to me, taking my hand. “I know I’m your least favorite person,” he said.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I snorted humorlessly.

“I hated walking up to your door when I got the call over dispatch,” he sighed. “I do have some good news for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Lauren will be going to jail for a long time,” he snickered. “You’re not the only one who got fucked over.”

“Beverly said that she’s going to try and pay me back all that Lauren stole from me. She gave me a $25,000 check today,” I mumbled. “The rest she’ll pay back in installments. Beverly also said she’d sell my home, without me having to pay for commission.”

“Beverly is good people. Her son and daughter-in-law? Not so much,” Mark sighed. “She’s washed her hands of both of them. They were both sent to county lock up, unable to pay the bail set forth by the judge at arraignment.”

“I’m shocked that they were arraigned so quickly,” I said.

“They got what they deserved,” Mark shrugged.

     

Falling for a Dark Soul Teaser

 “Esme … it’s Edward …” I sniffled. “He’s been in an accident.”

“What happened?” Esme breathed.

“I don’t know exactly, but he’s been brought to Olympia Medical Center. His entire left side is beat to hell,” I cried. “He’s going in for surgery because his left leg was pinned or something. He put me down as his next of kin. I should have called you. I’m sorry.”

“Bella, honey, you need to breathe,” Esme said. “You’re getting hysterical.”

“This is all my fault, Esme. My fault. All of it. He’s in here because of me,” I sobbed. Esme did her best to calm me down over the phone. “I’m sorry, Esme. You shouldn’t have to deal with my bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit. You’ve been through hell and back. So has my son,” Esme said soothingly. “It’s understandable that you’re overwrought. When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”

“Not since before I left,” I said.

“Sweetheart, that’s over a week,” Esme chided.

“Look, I wanted to let you know that Edward was in a car accident,” I sighed. “I’m going to stay here at the hospital …”

“What about Katie?”

“The police chief, Mark, his wife is watching over Katie,” I explained. “I’ll probably go back when Mark drives to Forks. I … I just wanted you to know.”

“I’ll call you when we get our travel plans finalized,” Esme said. “Bella, please, take care of yourself. I love you and Katie as much as I love my son.”

“Let me know if you need me to pick you up,” I murmured.

“We’ll make arrangements for everything. Thank you for calling, Bella,” Esme whispered.

We said our goodbyes and I curled up in the conference room. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I allowed myself a few moments of grief. Mark poked his head in the conference room, giving me a sympathetic look. “Are you okay, Bella?”

“Today has been a banner day. First, I get fleeced by Lauren Crowley, my boyfriend with whom I had a huge disagreement blind-sided me and my heart was cracked into a million pieces when you were on my doorstep tonight. I can’t take anymore,” I sniffled.

Mark sat down next to me, taking my hand. “I know that I’m your least favorite person,” he said.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I snorted humorlessly.

“I hated walking up to your door when I got the call over dispatch,” he sighed. “I do have some good news for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Lauren will be going to jail for a long time,” he snickered. “You’re not the only one who got fucked over.”

“Beverly said that she’s going to try and pay me back all that Lauren stole from me. She gave me a $25,000 check today,” I mumbled. “The rest she’ll pay back in installments. Beverly also said she’d sell my home, without me having to pay for commission.”

“Beverly is good people. Her son and daughter-in-law? Not so much,” Mark sighed. “She’s washed her hands of both of them. They were both sent to county lock up, unable to pay the bail set forth by the judge at arraignment.”

“I’m shocked that they were arraigned so quickly,” I said.

“They got what they deserved,” Mark shrugged. “I checked with the nurse and Edward’s being prepped for surgery. Do you want to go up to the surgical floor?”

“I should head back for Katie,” I muttered.

“Melinda just checked on her and she’s asleep. When she wakes up, Melinda can bring her to the hospital …”

Falling for a Dark Soul Update

 FFADS Chapter 30 on FFn

FFADS Chapter 30 on AO3

FFADS Chapter 30 on fanfiction.online

FFADS Chapter 30 on Stars

FFADS Chapter 30 on Wattpad

My world lost its light and I was bathed in darkness once again.

Sam whimpered, putting his head on my lap. His gaze almost sympathetic and I slowly pet behind his ears. His face contorted as tears welled in my eyes. I felt so alone, so empty. I looked around my condo, surveying the destruction and I shook my head. I stiffly stood up. The door to my condo opened and I secretly hoped it would be Bella.

Unlikely, asshole. You broke up with her yesterday because you’re a fucking piece of work.

“Edward?” came the sweet voice of my mother. “Your downstairs neighbor called …” She looked around and gasped. “What happened? Were you robbed?”

I lifted my hand and let out a gruff, harsh laugh. “No,” I answered.

“Is it Bella?” she asked. Hearing Bella’s name made me choke and stumble. Esme walked over to me, guiding me to the couch. “Edward, you look … broken. Tell me, sweetheart. What happened?”

“I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled.

“Well, how about you tell me what the hell happened to the condo?” she pressed.

“I lost my temper,” I answered. “Mom, why am I so unlovable? Why do people just throw me away?”

“What are you talking about? Edward, you are one of the most lovable people I know,” she cooed, brushing my hair back. I flinched and moved away. I couldn’t handle being touched. Not now. Not ever. My mother looked confused, but she took a breath, continuing, “No one would throw you away.”

“But, she did,” I snarled.

“Who did?”

“Bella! She threw me away for a dalliance with James,” I snapped, thrusting my hands into my hair.

“I highly doubt that, Edward. She does not like him, obviously. She told me that she thought that James was a toad. Why would she …?” she pressed.

“Because, I’m not worth it. I’m not worth anything!” I shot up and began pacing since my condo could not handle anymore destruction. “The only thing I’m good for is to be used and abused. A punching bag, a living sex toy … I’m nothing, Mom.” I slid down the wall and screamed. “The one good thing in my life … she threw me away.”

My mother sat down next to me, pulling me into her arms. I struggled against her, not wanting her comfort. She wouldn’t stop holding me and I just gave up. I clung to my mother as I completely lost it. She didn’t say anything, but she did hold me. I’m not sure how long we sat on the floor, but she pulled away, wiping my tears. “Edward, in all the years you were my son, you’ve never let your walls down. You always kept everyone at arm’s length, even your father and me. You never allowed yourself to grieve, to cry, to feel that pain from your childhood.”

“I needed to protect myself,” I said, my throat raw. “I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“And now, Bella broke through those walls,” she said.

“But, she …”

“I doubt she threw you away, Edward. Did you give her a chance to explain?” she chided.

“She tried, but it sounded like excuses,” I snapped. “She’s no different that Tanya.”

“That’s not fair, Edward. If I had to guess you lashed out and you left before giving her an opportunity to tell you what had happened,” she sighed. “Edward, I love you more than words can describe. You are my child, even though I didn’t give birth to you. You are not even remotely close to being disposable.”

“Then, why did those assholes hurt me like they did?” I asked.

“Are you talking about Bella or those awful foster families?” she asked sympathetically.

“Both, I guess,” I muttered.

“Bella didn’t throw you away,” she admonished gently.

    

Picking up the Pieces Teaser

A month had passed since AJ’s birth. In that month, Edward and I went to the doctor to verify my pregnancy in mid-April. We were sitting in the doctor’s office after work. The kids were spending time with Carlisle and my parents. I was in a paper gown, holding Edward’s hand. Gripping it, really.

“Why are you nervous?” he asked. 

“Because I’m old,” I snorted.

“I’m older,” he chuckled. “Two years older.”

“I’m classified as a geriatric pregnancy, Edward,” I argued. “I’m thirty-five and geriatric.”

“You weren’t geriatric when I licked your pussy this morning,” he smirked. I smacked his arm, blushing furiously. “What?”

“Behave, Edward. In a few moments, there’s going to be a doctor in here who is going to shove a transvaginal wand up my hoo-ha to check on our baby,” I grumbled.

“A what?” he asked.

“It’s an ultrasound for new pregnancies. The baby will be too small to be seen with a regular ultrasound,” I explained. “So, the technician will put a condom-covered …”

“This is freaking me out, sweetness,” Edward grumbled. “Why is there a condom?”

“Sanitary reasons, baby,” I giggled, ruffling his hair. He gave me a glower as the doctor walked in. I decided to go to the same obstetrician, Dr. Scott, that Rose used. With my pregnancy being a geriatric pregnancy, I wanted to make sure our nugget was okay.

She smiled at us and held out her hand. “Rose has told me all about you,” she said. “I’m Amelia Scott.”

“I’m Bella and this is my husband, Edward,” I said, shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you both,” Dr. Scott said, turning to Edward. “I’m glad I could get you in. My practice is booming. Lots of  babies. And little AJ? So adorable.”

“He looks exactly like my brother when he was a baby,” Edward chuckled. “But, with Rose’s eyes.”

“So, you are pregnant,” Dr. Scott smiled, blinking to me. “We ran the urine and the icon came up as positive, and I ran a blood test, too. Do you know when you think you conceived?”

“To be honest, no,” I chuckled. “We got married in February, Valentine’s Day. I had an IUD, but it was removed a week prior to my wedding. My periods were wonky before the IUD and I had a light period last week. Plus, we experienced a loss with my mother-in-law. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

Picking up the Pieces Update

PUTP Chapter 27 on FicPad

PUTP Chapter 27 on FFn

PUTP Chapter 27 on Stars

PUTP Chapter 27 on AO3

PUTP Chapter 27 on Wattpad

“I’m going to check on the kids,” I said.

“Can I check on them? I want to tell them about Mom,” Edward whispered. He took my hand, his thumb caressing over my knuckles. “You being here, or rather being there with my mom, it meant everything to me and to her, too. I don’t know if I could have done it without you, Bella.”

“There’s nowhere I wanted to be, Edward,” I said, brushing his hair back. “Do you want back up with the kids? They’re going to have questions. Tough questions.”

“No, I think I’ll be okay. Charlie sent a text that they’re both in Grace’s room. He’s reading to them,” Edward muttered. He rubbed his face, looking ten years older and so weary, despondent. “I love you, sweetness.”

“Edward, I love you more,” I breathed, kissing his lips. He hugged me tightly before heading upstairs, going into Grace’s bedroom. I pulled out my cell phone and sat down on the couch. I dialed Alice.

“How is she?” Alice asked when she picked up the phone.

“She’s gone, Alice,” I cried, tears leaking onto my cheeks. “She went peacefully and she was not in any pain. She just took a breath, released it and was gone.” I curled up on the couch, clutching a pillow. “I think it goes without saying that I’m going to be out for a few days, maybe a week. I’m sorry. I need to focus on my family right now.”

“Don’t even apologize, Hells Bells,” Alice snapped. “Seriously, you just lost your mother-in-law. You take all the time you need. I’ll speak to the district office and get you some emergency time off. I’m sorry for your loss. Send my love to Edward, will you?”

“I will, Alice. I’m sorry about putting you in a lurch and leaving you with the Carters and dealing with Micah’s mom,” I said, the guilt building up inside. “I …” A sob burst through my lips and I buried my face into the pillow.

“Bella, no. It’s alright. Don’t cry, sweetie,” Alice sniffled. “You take care of you. Take care of your family. I’ll handle everything else. Call me anytime.”

“Okay, Ali-cat,” I cried. “Love you.”

“Love you, too, Hells Bells,” she murmured, hanging up the phone.

I leaned my cheek against the couch cushion. My dad came down, sitting down next to me. “Edward’s talking to the kiddos. Grace is in shock. John is angry, trying not to cry but when he saw Edward cry, the dam flew open. The three of them are curled up on Grace’s bed, crying.”

“He’s taking this hard, Dad,” I sighed. “I am, too. This was the first death I’ve experienced since Jake. I feel lost, Dad. I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know how to make it easier for Edward, for the kids … I know I have to be strong …”

“Bella, you don’t have to be strong. You’ve been strong for so many years after you lost Jacob. You grieve how you see fit, sweetheart,” Dad said, hugging me close. “And we’ll be here for you and for Edward. Your mother actually went over to see how Carlisle was doing after you called. She was concerned he wasn’t eating.”

“He did look really skinny, but he was so worried about Esme,” I sighed. “We all were. Her illness was stubborn.”

“It wasn’t the cancer, Bells. It was her. She wanted to make sure that her children were happy,” Dad explained. “Esme was a strong woman, filled with spit and vinegar, but for so much love for her family. You were included in that. I know that she loved you.”

“I loved her, too,” I sniffled. “But, I’m afraid for Edward … he’s …”

“He’ll be fine. He’s a lot like you, Bella. He’ll probably push everyone away, but be patient,” Dad said, kissing my forehead.

“I didn’t push everyone away,” I huffed.

“Yes, you did,” Dad snorted. “Bells, just love him.”

“You know I do,” I sniffed, sliding my arms around my dad’s neck.

Esme's Casket

Floral Spray from Carlisle

Flowers from Edward and Emmett

Flowers from Forks Elementary

Flowers  inside of the casket

Hearse

Flowers from Renee and Charlie

Flowers from Rose  and Bella

Flowers from the hospital

Carlisle's goodbye