I was sitting next to Rosalie as she slept
fitfully. She’d delivered her baby girl three days ago after a C-section. She
refused to hold the baby, explicitly saying she was simply an incubator and
that Lauren and her husband, Tyler, were the parents. Lauren, Tyler and baby
Olivia left the hospital the day previous, after Rosalie signed the adoption
paperwork, relinquishing her parental rights.
The baby was clearly not Emmett’s. One of her
attackers had been an African American student who was the vice president of
the fraternity and the baby had dark skin and black curls. The DNA had been
sent out to the lab to verify paternity, but her baby had been conceived when
she was attacked.
“Bella,” Rosalie whispered, blinking up at me.
“You need your rest, sweetie,” I smiled,
taking her hand.
“So, do you,” she muttered. “I know I’m an
awful person, a despicable friend. I feel so badly that I pulled you away from
your boyfriend.” She looked down at the gorgeous ring that sparkled in the
lights. “Sorry, your fiancé. You should be with him. Celebrating with him,
going out for Valentine’s Day.”
“I’d forgotten about Valentine’s Day,” I
snorted. “Masen proposed, giving me this gorgeous ring, but I’d neglected to
get him anything for Valentine’s Day.”
“You can give him you,” she shrugged. “Spend
time with him. I’m going into an in-patient program. I won’t be able to have
visitors. Not anyone other than family, not for a while.” She sat up, grimacing
as her stitches pulled. “You’ve proven
to be a valuable, loyal and amazing friend. You calmed me down in a situation
that was …” she trailed off. “I want to be that
type of friend for you. Now? I can barely stand the sight of my own body. I’m
sick of who I am. I love you, Bella. As much love as I can give and that’s not
a whole hell of a lot. The minute amount I have, it’s for you. Some is for my
parents, but I …”
“They hover,” I chuckled. “That’s because they
worry, Rose. They heard you, begging for death.”
“I still want to die,” she muttered. “No
matter how much I shower, I can’t stop that feeling of being used.” She looked at me, drawing her
legs up and wrinkling her nose. “Thank you, Bella. I will never forget what you
did for me.”
“I hope you can get over this,” I murmured. “I
hope you can get your happily ever after with Emmett.”
“Doubtful,” Rose snorted humorlessly. “If you
could tell him that I still care for him. Maybe, when I’m … not on the verge ending it all, I might
reach out to him. I don’t know. Right now, I just can’t look past tomorrow, an
hour from now.”
“One day at a time, Rose,” I smiled, squeezing
her hand. “Will you be okay? I’m going to step out and talk to my friend who’s
been hanging with me.”
“I want to sleep. I’ll be fine,” she said,
curling back up and tugging the blanket up to her chin.
“And Rose, regardless, you call me at any
time. I’m here for you,” I said, standing up from my spot next to her bed. “So
are your parents. Your friends.”
“I know,” she sighed. “I just feel closer to
you than to my friends from university or even from home. They don’t understand
why I can’t ‘bounce back’ from what happened.” Rosalie just rolled her eyes, flipping off the lights and ending
our conversation. I frowned, walking toward the doorway. “I may never ‘bounce
back.’”
“You need to adjust to a new normal,” I suggested. “I’ll be back, Rose.”
