Buying Love Chapter 56 Update on AO3
Buying Love Chapter 56 Update on FFn
Buying Love Chapter 56 Update on TWCS
I reread each journal entry from Carlisle, Rose and Bella. They were all on my side, all pulling for me. I was terrified, though, of putting my thoughts and feelings on paper. It would mean that I’d have to acknowledge them. That they were true. That my life wasn’t some horrific nightmare, but my life.
Shaking my head, I figured I’d focus on the questions that Dr. Benson posed to me for my first journal entry. What did I want to do with my life and think about my relationship with Bella? Turning the page, I picked up a pen that was on the cocktail table. I marked down the date.
November 20th, 2015
Do I start with ‘dear diary’? I’ve never done this shit before. It seems so foreign. The last time I wrote ANYTHING was in high school. Not that I even finished high school. I’m an uneducated, worthless human being …
I put down the pen, scowling at what I put. I could still hear Esme’s voice in my head, reminding me that I was nothing. I wasn’t nothing, not any more. I had to become a better person – a better man – for my mom, for Bella, for ME! Gripping the pen with determination, I began writing again.
I’m not worthless. That’s Esme talking. I’ll lay into her shit later. I’m either going to need a lot of alcohol or some heavy-duty drugs to get me through that entry. I’ll settle with the medications that Dr. Benson prescribed, though.
Anyhow, my name is Edward Masen and for the past fourteen years, my life has been hell. It all started …