Monday, May 5, 2014

Surviving the Teenage Dream ~ Owen

“You’re not the only one,” Kyra sighed, leaning her head back against the headrest. “I get their fear of this Jacob guy. He sounds like a total douche canoe, but do you know what a pain in the ass it is to have Steve or Oliver or Casey or Johnny hovering while you’re on a date? I mean, I’m making out with Thomas and four seats down, there’s Steve. Awkward.”

“Yeah, you are at least making out. Tasha and I, we haven’t gotten past the whole holding hands thing,” I blushed. “I don’t know how to kiss a girl, K. I never thought I’d have the opportunity, you know?”

“Wait a minute…you and Tasha have been together since the winter formal and you haven’t kissed? Why not? She’s a cute girl!” Kyra wailed.

“I know! That’s why I’m freaking out. I’m this geeky nobody with this hot girlfriend. I’m waiting for her to dump me or to start spreading rumors that I’m gay or something,” I huffed. “Right, that already happened with Mackenzie.”

“Bitch. I hate her,” Kyra snarled. “I know I’ve apologized for that behavior, Owen, but I have to say it again. I’m sorry that I didn’t stick up for you when she was saying that crap.”

“It’s okay, K. I know you didn’t want to commit social suicide,” I said, moving to set up my preset stations.

“That’s the thing! You’re my brother! We came from the same womb, Owen! We are the genetic combination of Mom and Dad after they did the bump and grind,” Kyra giggled.

“Don’t mention that. Ever. Mom and Dad don’t have sex. They’re, like, old,” I shuddered.

“I hate to burst your bubble, Wan…they fuck like bunnies. I had to ask Steve something and well, on the security monitors, there was a video clip of Mom and Dad going at it on the piano,” Kyra said, biting her lip.

“The piano? The piano?! The PIANO?!?!?” I screamed. “Ugh, I need brain bleach. My hands were on there.”

“Well, so was Mom’s naked ass and Dad’s…” Kyra trailed off.

“Stop, K. I don’t want to puke in my brand new pretty car,” I whimpered, leaning my head against the steering wheel. “On the piano? Really?”

“Sorry, bub,” Kyra said sympathetically. “If it’s any consolation, Dad looked a lot like you when he was a kid and well, from the brief glimpse of what I saw, he’s got some pretty slick moves. Maybe you inherited his sexual prowess.”

“Kyra! I mean it,” I grumbled.

“I’ll stop. Sorry,” she said, rubbing my shoulder. “Back to Tasha, that girl is enamored with you. She thinks you hung the moon. You have to kiss her. I’m probably guessing that she’s freaking out and wondering why you haven’t kissed her.”
“It’s not like we’ve had any time alone, Kyra. Each time we go out, it’s either with her friends or on a double date with you and Thomas. I don’t want our first smooch to be in front of an audience,” I said, pushing my glasses up my nose.

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