Anger
Management 101 – strategies by Edward Cullen, M.D., as assigned by his
brilliant girlfriend, Isabella Swan, R.N.
When at
work or in life, people tend to get frustrated, pissed off, upset, etc…It’s how
you handle these moments that you need to pay attention and not ruffle the
feathers of your co-workers, friends and significant others
(girlfriend/fiancée-types). Here are some tips and tricks to address said
issues.
Step
One: Walk away
when you’re getting upset. When you’re flustered, your emotions run higher and
you will be quicker to fly off the handle than if you were calm, cool
collected. If this is not an option, continue on to step two.
Step
Two: Sometimes
you’re in a situation where you can’t walk away (emergency situations where a
patient is coding or bleeding out…if a doc leaves during this, it’s a
malpractice suit just waiting to happen). Take a few calming breaths and work
through the procedure/situation. Once the patient has stabilized (or the
situation), take your timeout. Only after you’ve collected your thoughts that
you speak to the other person involved.
Step
Three: Get a blowjob from your girl. (Just kidding! I
love you, Bella! Xoxox!)
Step
Four: Go down on
your girl…(Do you see where this is going? I need you, sweet girl. Bury my lips
between your thighs and get drunk on your succulent nectar.) UGH! I need to
stop this! Anger management…
Step
Five: I’m
serious, I swear. If feasible, get another person to mediate between you and
the person you’re upset with: someone NOT actively involved in the situation at
hand. You need to have that outside perspective to work through the issues and
grow as a person.
Step
Six: If the
above strategies don’t work, drink heavily and make love to your girl. Being
encased in her warmth is a balm to the soul. The endorphins released from
coming make everything feel better, not to mention the physical pleasure of
seeing your girl come. Who’s with me?
He's too cute! ;)
ReplyDelete