The Geek's Guide to Parenthood Teaser

“Edward? Can you zip me up?” I asked as I looked over my shoulder.

“I’d rather unzip you,” he said, his golden eyes smoldering into my soul. He did manage to zip me up in my red and green floral dress.

“Behave, Mr. Cullen,” I chided.

“Come on, gorgeous. It’s our first wedding anniversary,” he whined.

“Relax, Edward. You’re getting some tonight,” I giggled. “Esme and Marcus are going to watch Kyra for the evening after we go to church.”

“Yeah, going to ‘midnight mass’ at eight in the evening is kind of fucked up,” Edward snorted. “Besides, we don’t even go to church. At least, not since I had my first communion in second grade.”

“Edward, we went to church when your mom got married. When Kyra was baptized,” I sighed.

“Minor technicalities,” Edward said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Have we been since? No.”

“Your mother wants to go. Buck up and deal with it, Edward. It’s an hour. One hour will not kill you. Besides, we need everyone on our side regarding Emmett. A little prayer and divine intervention can’t help.”

“This is true,” Edward said. “God…Are you there? Please smite my brother since he’s an asshat! Amen.”

“That is one fucked up prayer, Edward. Come on. Let’s head downstairs with principessa. I’m guessing that someone wants to spoil her.”

“Five bucks says it’s Demetri,” Edward said with a wry grin. “He’s been jonesing for a Kyra fix.”

“Nah. It’ll be Papa,” I smiled. “He barely had any time with Kyra yesterday since Charlie was here.”

“You’re on, Mrs. Cullen,” Edward smirked with his hand out. We shook on it and carried Kyra down the stairs. It was Christmas Eve and we had spent a majority of the day preparing the meals for the holiday. Esme had actually done most of the work while Rose and I assisted. Alice was banned from the kitchen. That girl can burn water.

“Where’s my goddaughter?” Demetri asked as he bounced toward us.

“Back off, son of mine,” Marcus admonished. “You got to hold her a lot yesterday. She’s mine” He waggled his fingers at Kyra who gurgled happily at her grandfather from Edward’s arms. Once she was safely with Marcus, I held out my hand. Edward grumbled as he passed over a five dollar bill. I tucked it into my bra with a wink.