Once Edward left the bedroom after our declarations of love, I changed into a pair of pajamas. It was cold in the room so I was glad that I brought my heavy green flannel pajama bottoms and long-sleeved black t-shirt. As per usual, I avoided looking at myself while I changed in the bathroom. The scars on my belly were too much of a reminder of what had happened to me. Yes, my tattoo hid some of them but, they were still there. I washed my face and clipped my hair up. As I was fussing with my long brown hair, I saw the glint of the white gold chain that now hung around my neck. I pulled the chain from my shirt and gently running my fingers over the sparkling diamonds. Edward's heart.
"He loves me," I murmured. I looked up at my reflection and tried to psych myself out that I was worthy of his love. Of his heart. But James' hateful words filled my brain, spreading the toxic waste of his abhorrence.
You're such a fuck up, Bella.
No one will ever love you.
You're worthless.
Stupid.
Ugly.
A waste of skin and space.
Why am I with you?
Right…pity. Now fuck me, bitch before I take you without asking.
I flinched when he smacked my face in my memory. "Why can't you leave me alone?" I whimpered. I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes. I headed into the bedroom, slipping between the sheets of the bed. While I was exhausted and mentally spent, I couldn't fall asleep. James' words kept circling in my mind like vultures, feeding on what was left of my fragile ego.
I feigned sleep while Edward crawled into bed next to me. His arms wrapped me in a gentle, loving embrace. He whispered, "I love you, my Bella," into my hair before kissing my neck. His breathing evened out and soon he was dead to the world. I removed myself from his hold, turning to look at his face. While he slept, his worries disappeared. His features smoothed out and he looked so young. With a soft kiss to his forehead, I got out of the bed and went downstairs.
Xmas Morning PJs
Xmas Day Lounging
Alice's gift to Bella
Bella's Memorial Clothes
Edward's Memorial Clothes
Jasper and Alice
Carlisle and Esme
Rosalie and Emmett
Bella's scar
Bella's flowers for Mattie
Mattie's flowers for his casket
Queen of Heaven Cemetery
Queen of Heaven Main Hall
Queen of Heaven Chapel
Double Rainbow - Mattie's love and approval
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