I got up and moved to the kitchen. Today was all about saying my final goodbye to Jake. I loved him with everything that I was. But, I couldn’t move forward with my life. Not with his ghost lingering in my head. Looking down at my hand, I smiled softly at the wedding rings that glistened on my finger. After today, they were going into my jewelry box and staying there until Grace or John wanted them.
I made Jake’s favorite breakfast, waffles with bananas foster and whipped cream. Enjoying my breakfast, I wrote in my journal, documenting the first time I’d made it for him.
December 10, 2014
It was our four year wedding anniversary, August 1st. I had wanted to make Jacob a special breakfast. I had some big news to share with him. I wanted it to be special. While he slept, I looked up the recipe for the waffles and topping. I was eager to make it for him the following morning. I woke up early, making the batter for the waffles. I pulled out the waffle maker, pouring the batter into the machine as I put the ingredients for the bananas foster in the sauce pan.
Suffice it to say, I got distracted.
My very horny and lonely husband walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Without even noticing that I was cooking, he picked me up and laid me out on the island in the kitchen, stripping me bare. He licked me to orgasm and then slid inside of me, making love to me while our breakfast was burning to a crisp. It wasn’t until the fire alarms went off that I remembered that I was trying to make this special meal for my husband.
The waffle maker was ruined and the sauce pan had to be pitched. But nothing was more magical than when I showed Jake the positive pregnancy test when I discovered I was pregnant with John.
Every year, on our anniversary, we’d eat those same waffles because it reminded him of the best day of his life, after our wedding day. The day he found out he was going to be a daddy.
I closed the journal and smiled softly. I couldn’t make those waffles without crying. Today, though, I wasn’t crying. I was at peace. Was I still sad that Jacob was gone? Yes, but I was coming to the realization that even though he died, I couldn’t stop living.