“Do you care for her?”
“Very much, Mom. I’ve never met anyone so strong, graceful
and wonderful in my life. She reminds me of you, in a way, with this quiet
power behind her every move,” I said, taking my mom’s hand.
“Then, let her lead you through this. I can see that you have
feelings for this woman, but she’s still grieving and you need to give her
time. My suggestion to you is to make up some excuse to get out of the ‘date’
this weekend. Give her time to calm down and when she’s ready, Bella will
contact you. Edward, you’re a fixer, just like your father. You see something
wrong and you automatically want to fix it; make it better. The only thing that
can fix Bella is time, understanding and patience,” Esme said. “But don’t be
mistaken, she cares about you, too. Bella’s just confused, scared and lost. She’s
been a widow for a year and so she feels badly for wanting to move on. She
probably thinks that she’s broken and that she’s using you.”
“She’s not!” I barked.
“Trust me, she does. Bella, I’m assuming, has taken some
comfort in what you’re offering, but feels horribly that she can’t give
anything in return. You’ve been affectionate, loving and kind, right?” I
nodded. “Hugged her, provided her the support she needed?” Again, I nodded. “Bella
yearns for that, but her heart is still attached her husband and she wants it
to be him, but she’s taking it from you. And I know that you’re going to
continue giving it because that’s just who you are. My suggestion to
you is to
give her some space. Do not push her
or she’s going to shut down completely.”
“How did you get to be so smart?” I chuckled humorlessly.
“You’re not the only one who’s talked to Shelly,” Esme said,
pinching my arm. “I’ve had to come to grips that I’m not going to be here
forever. I’m healthy, for the most part, for now. The cancer not growing, but
it’s not stopping either. It’s only a matter of time until it decides that the
chemo can’t stop it anymore and I’ll die. Ideally, I’d like to see Emmett and
Rose have children and for you to be married, but it’s in God’s hands right
now. So, don’t piss him off.”
“Okay,” I said, leaning back on the couch.
“Now, if you’re so desperate to go grocery shopping, I’m
having a good day. We could go together and I can teach you how to make chicken
stir fry,” Esme quipped, getting up from the couch. “I had a date with Emmett
on Wednesday, now today, I have a date with my handsome middle son. While I get
ready, send Bella a text or call her or something.” She kissed my forehead
before walking upstairs.
Taking out my cell phone, I found Bella’s number. Being a
chicken and realizing that she was probably teaching right now, I sent her a
text. Bella, I’ve had something come up.
I’m pulling a double shift on Saturday. I’m working in the morning in Forks and
then helping out in Port Angeles in the evening. Rain check on our grocery
shopping? ~ E
Her response was almost immediate. No big deal. It frees up my weekend to go to Seattle with Alice and my
mom to go Christmas shopping for my kids. Some other time? ~ B
You call me when you’re
ready ~ E
She never responded and my heart shattered slightly. Shaking it off, I called Charlie and asked for some extra hours. He gave me the time I needed and I went to the Thriftway, picking up the necessities with my mom along with the makings for the chicken stir fry she wanted to teach me. It wasn’t the same as going with Bella, but at least, I had more in fridge than Lean Cuisines and a twelve pack of beer.
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