My Addiction: Picking up the Pieces Update

Friday, January 24, 2014

Picking up the Pieces Update

Picking up the Pieces on FicPad

Picking up the Pieces on AO3

Picking up the Pieces on TWCS

We never made it to the barbeque at my parents’ house. Alice called them, explaining my emotional breakdown. It was irrational. I knew this, but I couldn’t pull myself together. Alice and my new friend, Rose, were understanding as they led me out to Alice’s Lexus. Unfortunately, the barbeque was rescheduled for a later date. Damn it. Alice drove me back to the house with Rose in tow. She said we were having a girl’s night since my kids were staying with Grandma and Grandpa.

Back at my tiny house, Alice linked her arm with mine. “Go upstairs, Bella and put on something comfy,” Alice said, pushing me toward the stairs. “I know you’re dying in that dress.”

It was a gorgeous dress, very pretty, flowery and flowy, accenting my best features but it wasn’t me. Not anymore. I was the Widow Black. I should be wearing black, not flowers. I nodded sadly, agreeing with her statement and dragged my weary body up to my gorgeous bedroom. My breath caught when I looked at the bed. I hated that bed. I will always hate that bed. It’s even a new bed. I had to replace the mattress after Jake died because he had gotten so sick on it from the chemo. It smelled like vomit and death. I also figured if it was a new bed, I’d be able to sleep in it. Not so much …

Narrowing my eyes and cursing the foreboding pile of springs and padding also known as my mattress, I grabbed a pair of yoga pants and one of Jake’s hoodies. Walking into the bathroom, I scrubbed my face and slid on my glasses. I didn’t need to wear them every day at every moment, but when I was tired or emotional, I wore them. It prevented me from having headaches. I could feel a nasty headache brewing and using the glasses would hopefully quell the nastiness in my noggin. I had contacts but hadn’t put them in since the last date I went out on with Jake.

Our tenth anniversary.

Just before he was diagnosed. Tears filled my eyes and I whimpered quietly.