Chapter Thirty-Two on AO3
Chapter Thirty-Two on TWCS
It had been nearly three months since the shooting. I had been cleared to return to work but was debating on going back to Cook County. The idea of walking into that ER scared the shit out of me. Dr. Volturi was okay with me waiting on coming back but he gave me to January 7th.
Bella and I started couples therapy with Dr. Yvette Pepper for PTSD and we both spent time with her as well. Our relationship is slowly healing. Very slowly. Okay, it's a snail's pace. Once she got over the nightmares, she's pushed me away. She's still a bit short with me and I have a tendency to fret, but we now use our words to express our frustrations.
However, the intimacy our relationship had prior to the shooting still hadn't returned. We both were missing each other and I know I wanted to bond with her by making love to her. Unfortunately, her body still wasn't healed enough. Additionally, she was feeling very self-conscious about her scars. She'd lost a fair amount of weight due to her coma and kept most of it off. Granted, I think she's not eating enough but I promised I wouldn't nag. Anyhow, she won't ever let me help her with her scar cream or let me see her. Her deep brown eyes just fill with tears and she pushes away. I don't care if she's littered with scars. My baby's alive.
"Dr. Cullen? Edward? You're spacing out," Yvette, my therapist, said.
"Sorry," I mumbled. "Just trying to figure out how to make Bella understand that she's still beautiful to me."
"That will take time, Dr. Cullen," Yvette explained. "You know she's beautiful and in your mind, you see her beauty, but in her mind, all she sees is the remnants of a horrific attack against her body. Against her soul. She's getting better."
"She won't even let me kiss her," I said, running my hands through my hair. "It's like she's afraid of me."
"She's afraid of sex. Kissing leads to getting turned on which leads to sex," Yvette said succinctly.
Gift for Seth
Gift for Seth
Gift for Garrett
Cooper's Hawk...best restaurant ever
Bella's Infinity Necklace
Edward's Movado
Butch McGuire's
Bella's Journals
Bella's fancy pen
Bella's engagement ring (with attached wedding band)
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