“Be warned, though, Edward. You hurt my daughter or you
suddenly decide you like men, I will shoot you in the ass or deport you back to
wherever you came from. Got me?”
“Yes, sir,” Edward said as he threaded his fingers with
mine. “I can assure that I will never, ever
like men like that. I’m cool with people being gay but it’s not for me. In
regards to hurting, Bella, I could never do that either. I love her too much.”
“Good,” Charlie said gruffly. He waved his hand and demanded
the check. “I can tell you’re a good guy and I’d hate to shoot your ass.”
“Oh, Dad,” I moaned, covering my face.
“What? Tyler should be grateful that I didn’t aim my Colt at
his balls, Isabella Marie,” Charlie spat, signing the credit slip with a little
too much force. “He did the right thing in paying for his half of that too big
apartment and forking over the money for the wedding, but it doesn’t negate the
fact that my baby girl was hurt because he was a pussy.”
“Charlie, language,” Renee chided.
“What? Would it have been too difficult to say something
prior to the wedding?” Charlie grumbled.
“Tyler was a pussy, Bella. A coward
and a fool, too.”
“His loss is my gain,” Edward said as he smiled at my dad.
“Damn straight it is,” Charlie said. “Now, I’d like to go
home and watch some sports, scratch my balls and drink some beer. Maybe, if I feel
like it, I may fart.” He pushed away from the table, walking stiffly to the
exit. My mom was crimson, trying to hide behind her napkin. Edward was
chuckling quietly and I was just flummoxed.
Did that really
happen?
ROFL!!!
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