“We both have insecurities,” I said, curling up to his body. “That’s normal. Human.”
“Mine are more than insecurities. I’ve got a bull’s eye on my head that just screams ‘fuck-up.’ After using women for so long, I get the girl of my dreams, literally falling into my lap,” he said as he kissed my forehead. “In my head, I’m waiting to wake up and then realize that all of this was a dream and I’m still a fucking asshole, screwing women to get my jollies off. I hated what I was. I hated Lauren for breaking my heart and giving me the impetus to turn into a male slut.”
“Fucking bitch slut hoebag,” I scowled.
“Don’t hold back, gorgeous,” Edward snorted.
“The fact that she strung you along while she was fucking the football team at Harvard is fucking bullshit. If I ever see her skanky ass, I will kick it from here to Sugar Loaf Mountain in my broken stilettos that I beaned Jacob with,” I said.
“Get in line,” Edward deadpanned. “My parents want to give her a piece of their mind along with Emmett and Alice. They saw me at my worst. Well, my parents did. Emmett and Alice just saw me fuck my way through a third world country.” I smacked his arm. “Ow, woman!”
“Don’t diss yourself,” I said sternly.
“Don’t feel guilty for wanting me to make love to you,” he countered. “You just came out a relationship where all you did was give, unfortunately. You’re ready for some more ‘loving’ and I am pretty safe to assume that you’re really tired of getting off using a vibrator.” I blushed. “Bella, I want to love you. I want to make you come. I love doing it to you. It’s time you are on the receiving end, baby.”
“But, I want to return the favor,” I pouted.
“How long were you with Tyler, without any sort of reciprocation from him?” Edward asked.
“Four years?” I blinked and turned, scowling at him. “You are NOT going to go four years without making love to me, Edward. I swear to GOD. I love what you did last night but…”
“Jesus, chill, Bella,” he laughed. “I’m not going to wait four years. I think I’d die. Hell, it’s been roughly a week and I’m going through withdrawals. I was thinking…now, don’t freak out…but, I want to wait until your birthday.”
“It’s June, Edward.”
“Duh, Bella,” he said dryly.
“It’s like three months away,” I grumbled.
“I know, love,” he replied. “But, this is my reasoning. You’re going back to the states the day after Fourth of July. I don’t want us to fall into a physical relationship and have two weeks of non-stop sex, then nothing until I come up in September. Plus, you know that I want to make love to you. I want to build it up, Bella. Is it going to be a challenge? Definitely. Trust me when I say that last night was hard for me and my control. I wanted to slip inside of you so badly.”
“I wouldn’t have complained.” I smacked my own head with that. “Sorry. I really need to work on my brain to mouth filter. It’s like non-existent since, well, ever.”