“Okay, what were these triggers?” Alice asked, leaning
forward. “Inclinations that indicated that your douche of an ex was gay?”
“First off, he’s prettier than me,” I chuckled.
“Bella, you’re gorgeous,” Alice said, quirking a brow.
“I’d show you a picture of Tyler, but I shattered my phone
when I got the text from him, breaking up with me,” I chuckled. “Seriously,
though. That man had more beauty products than me. Hair gel, moisturizers,
bronzer, guyliner…he had a weekly appointment to get a manicure and a pedicure.
He also got his brows waxed. Even I don’t do that! That’s why God invented
tweezers.”
“What does Tyler do? His job?”
“He’s a sports reporter for the Seattle Times. I’m a gossip/entertainment reporter for the same
paper,” I answered.
“OH GOODNESS! Any new news about that one couple from the
vampire movies? You know the girl who cheated on the fuckhot guy with some
pervy older dude?” Alice giggled.
“Focus, Alice. I’ll give you the deets on that later. We’ve
got an eleven and half hour flight to talk,” I snorted.
“Okay, fine. Back to your confused man,” Alice said, her face
cracking into a crooked grin. “More triggers of his gayness. The first one is
that he could open up his own cosmetic store.”
“Right. The second indication that he preferred the company
of the male persuasion was his PDA. Or lack thereof.”
“Please tell me you’re not a virgin,” Alice guffawed.
“I’m not a virgin but I haven’t had sex with Tyler,” I
frowned. “He wanted to ‘wait’ until marriage. The extent of our physical
relationship has been a lot of cuddling, hugging, chaste kissing and a hell of
a lot of blow jobs.”
“Did he ever return the favor?” Alice whispered, her green
eyes wide with shock.
“Not really. He tried to finger me once but said that he had
a hang nail. Bullshit. He just didn’t want to touch my pussy,” I grumbled. “There,
I do wax.”
“How did you survive? I would die if I didn’t have regular
orgasms,” Alice breathed.
“I’ve gone through six vibrators in the four years we’d been
together,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “I’ve got two packed in my bag that’s
heading to Rio.”
“Fuck me,” Alice sighed. “Six? Damn.”
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