Figure Eight Teaser

“Okay, boys,” Emmett smiled. “It’s time.”

“Time for what?” Jasper asked.

“Time for me to choose my best man,” Emmett smirked. “Both of you are my best friends.”

“Emmett, we just met a few months ago,” I snorted.

“So? I love you like a brother, Eddie,” Emmett said as he ruffled my hair. I batted him away, scowling at my nickname that I abhorred. “Oh, stop pouting.”

“Don’t call me Eddie. DO you want a toe pick shoved up your ass?” I asked.

“Not really. No,” he said seriously. “That would hurt the bunghole. Compromise the greatness of my shits.”

“Emmett, that is disgusting,” Jasper squeaked. “Please tell me that you’re not going to say that you piss excellence?”

“I do. Gotta love Ricky Bobby,” Emmett said conspiratorially. “Anyhow, back to my decision. I’d love to have both of  you as groomsmen.”

“Do we have to wear tuxedos?” Jasper glowered.

“If Rosie has anything to say about it? Yes,” Emmett said, arching a bushy brow. “Sorry, Hick-boy.”

“Fuck,” Jasper pouted. “I hate wearing suits. Why can’t you have a destination wedding and we can wear shorts?”

“Oh, I’ll have to ask Rosie about that,” Emmett crooned. “Getting married in Hawaii sounds perfect.” Emmett phone chirps. “How in the hell does she do that?” He handed Jasper his phone, who let out a guffawing laugh.

“What?”

“Alice in her infinite wisdom texted Emmett and said ‘no’ to a destination wedding,” Jasper snorted.

“Why? It’s Emmett and Rose’s wedding,” I said. “If they want a destination wedding, it’s their decision, right?”

“In theory,” Emmett said. “You will learn quickly that you will never question the fairy. She’s freaky scary. Like, she can make me piss my pants with one glare. I don’t know how Jasper handles her and why he hasn’t proposed?”

“And gotten away with it?” I bellowed. “Why haven’t you proposed, Jas?”

“I love my Ali, but I’m scared. She’s the one for me but marriage changes people.”

“Marriage isn’t the only thing that changes things, Jas,” Emmett said. “You’ve been with Alice as long as I can remember. Besides, Carlisle definitely wants some grandbabies.”

“That’s one of the many changes that scare me,” Jasper blanched.