Figure Eight Teaser

“Damn, Jas. Edward must have some real good dirt on you and I will find out what it is,” Emmett promised. “So, what are you doing with your afternoon off?”

“Ironically enough, baking  a cake,” I said. “Bella’s birthday cake. And you two assholes are going to help me.”

“What?! I’m not Betty Fucking Crocker, Masen,” Emmett bellowed. “I’m not wearing a frilly apron and baking a god damned cake.”

“I’ll let you lick the bowl,” I offered.

“Sold,” they both replied.

Too easy. WAAAAAY too easy.

We all piled into my car. Emmett had come in with Rose and Jasper’s truck was in the shop. We drove to the supermarket and I grabbed the necessary items for the cake that we were making for Bella. Little did they know that my mom actually did some professional baking for some time and I learned how to make some of those specialty cakes.

We carried up all of the ingredients and I pulled out my Kitchen Aide. Emmett mumbled under his breath, saying that I was such a pansy. I smacked him upside the head and gave him a glare. I put the guys to work on making the filling for Bella’s cake. It was some strawberry concoction that I created. They were diligently cutting up the strawberries while I made the sheet cakes. Once I had them in the oven, I began working on the strawberry mixture and had Emmett work on the  buttercream frosting while Jasper was going to attempt to make fondant.

The fact that he knew what that was shocked me. To no end.

Dr. Thong likes to wear women’s panties and kind of knows how to bake. Do we see a disconnect here?

Yes, we do.

Jasper, give us your man card. Now.

*Holding out hand, waiting impatiently.*

You know, we should be asking for YOUR man card, too.

Do you want to have sex?

Yes!

Then, shut the fuck up.