“Are you ready for your first day of school, Whip?” Alice asked in the shop. “Get educated?”
“No. It’s been ten years since I’ve stepped food in a classroom, Alice,” I said nervously. “I’m also worried about Bella. She’s gotten distant again.”
“You want me to talk to her?” Alice asked.
“Nah. I can’t be a pussy. Also, she may be hitting a wall in her recovery. It was around this time in my recovery that I hated the world. I was clean, but the need for drugs was overwhelming. Talking just didn’t cut it. That’s when I picked up smoking,” I chuckled. “It took the edge off, but not really.”
“Talk to her. Hopefully that’s it,” Alice said. “So, when are we shopping for your school clothes?”
“Alice, I’m not your life-sized Ken doll,” I said. “I’m not made out of plastic and I have genitalia.”
“That we want to pierce,” Rose snorted from her station.
“Seriously? I do not want my cock pierced. Why are we so insistent on doing that?” I asked.
“Edward, trust me when I saw that it’ll enhanced every feeling in your dick when you make love to your woman,” Rose said. “The first time I had sex after I had my clit pierced, I had like twenty orgasms.”
“Twenty? Really?” I asked dryly.
“Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit, but it was a lot,” Rose said with a wave of her hand.
“I’ve been toying with the idea of getting my clit pierced,” Alice said. “Should I?”
“I recommend it, but how’s your pain tolerance, Ali?” Rose asked.
“I dealt with Bella for seven years,” Alice giggled. “She’s not the easiest person to live with. Right, Whip?”
“I plead the fifth. For some strange reason whatever I say anything negative about my girlfriend, she finds out. She’s an awesome roommate,” I said with a wide grin. “I love her mucho!”
“You are so whipped, Whip,” Rose snorted. I growled and flipped her off. “Alice, if you want me to pierce your clit, I’ll do it.”
“No, I want Whip to do it,” Alice said with an impish grin on her face.
“Okay, that’s just weird. Alice, I love you like a sister. I do not want to see your snatch,” I shuddered. “Besides, Jasper might kick my ass if I touched your clit or whatever.”
“Maybe he can watch,” Alice guffawed.
“I’m going for a smoke. Perv,” I said as I grabbed my cigarettes.