“DADDY!” I shrieked. Some restaurant patrons glared at me. “Stop it!”
“What? It’s a valid question,” Charlie said, giving me a pointed look. “Edward is very pretty and…”
“Pretty?” I choked. “Edward, I’m so sorry. You’re not pretty.”
“I’m offended,” he smirked.
“Shut up. You’re handsome, gorgeous, ruggedly doable,” I sputtered out. “Not pretty. What does that have to do with anything, Dad?”
“Tyler was pretty. Tyler was gay,” Charlie said, arching a brow.
“Tyler had more beauty products than a drag queen,” I deadpanned. “Edward, how many beauty products do you have?”
“I don’t own any beauty products,” he chuckled. “I have some hair gel, cologne, aftershave and shaving cream. That’s it.”
“Tyler had a skin care regime, Daddy. He went for a facial every week. He had manicures and pedicures and waxed his eyebrows. Do these brows look waxed to you?” I shoved Edward’s face toward my dad.
“No, but sweetie, I can pluck the slight monobrow you’ve got going,” Renee said as she rubbed between Edward’s eyes.
“MOM!” I spat. “Leave him alone.” I pulled Edward back and kissed him sweetly. “You’re perfect.” Then I noticed he did have a slight monobrow.
“You can have at it once we get home, gorgeous girl,” he snickered.
“Okay, thank you,” I said. “Are you done with your interrogation, Charlie?”
“I suppose,” he mumbled. “Be warned, though, Edward. You hurt my daughter or you suddenly decide you like men, I will shoot you in the ass or deport you back to wherever you came from. Got me?”
“Yes, sir,” Edward said as he threaded his fingers with mine. “I can assure that I will never, ever like men like that. I’m cool with people being gay but it’s not for me. In regards to hurting, Bella, I could never do that either. I love her too much.”
“Good,” Charlie said gruffly. He waved his hand and demanded the check. “I can tell you’re a good guy and I’d hate to shoot your ass.”
“Oh, Dad,” I moaned, covering my face.
“What? Tyler should be grateful that I didn’t aim my Colt at his balls, Isabella Marie,” Charlie spat, signing the credit slip with a little too much force. “He did the right thing in paying for his half of that too big apartment and forking over the money for the wedding, but it doesn’t negate the fact that my baby girl was hurt because he was a pussy.”
“Charlie, language,” Renee chided.
“What? Would it have been too difficult to say something prior to the wedding?” Charlie grumbled. “Tyler was a pussy, Bella. A coward and a fool, too.”
“His loss is my gain,” Edward said as he smiled at my dad.
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