A month had passed since we’d gone to court, gaining access to Edward and Alice’s trust funds. I was working with Charlotte and she was so kind, helping me move past the years of abuse I’d endured under Jacob’s thumb. On top of that, Marcus, Eleazar and Carmen were researching more about Jacob. It would appear that my ex-husband had targeted me. He knew that I was magical. He knew I was a creature; that the magic of the fae was within my body.
Another way that Jacob had hurt me.
He was going to convert me to a vampire with Aro’s dark magic. I’d be far stronger than a fae, but would subsist on blood and would not be able to go out in the daylight.
Charlotte was helping me in ways I never realized and I was grateful for that, but I felt betrayed by my father’s best friend’s son. Jacob knew what I was and he was going to corrupt that, making me into something that was evil, dark and cruel. By carrying Jacob’s baby, that would have been one step, bringing me closer to the darkness. Jacob’s anger, however, negated that, when he beat me up and causing me to have that miscarriage.
I was reading one of the ancient tomes in the library, trying to calm my heart after a troubling session with Carmen. We had discussed my mental state prior to making that appointment at the legal aid office. Unbeknownst to me, I was probably suicidal and since the fae magic hadn’t been released, I would have died. No magic would have saved me if I had gone through with what I had planned. If I hadn’t met with Edward and begun the whole divorce proceeding, I would have ended it.
I didn’t deny it. I couldn’t live like that anymore. Charlotte asked me if still felt that way. I told her that I didn’t, but I was terrified that Edward would see me as sullied, ruined goods. He never gave me any indication that he did, but it was a very real fear in my fucked up mind. Charlotte gave me homework, to write down the positives I see in myself. I told her that I would, but I needed time to process my revelations for the day. Charlotte hugged me and said that was a wise decision. So, I was reading about more incantations, spells and charms to fight Aro and my bastard of an ex-husband, Jacob.
“Hey, Bella,” chirped Alice. She was in her elf-form. She looked very much like a pixie with her delicately pointed ears and her slender body. “You okay?”
“Not really, but I will be,” I shrugged.
“Why do you stay human?” she asked. “Now that I have this other form, I love it.”
“Chairs aren’t really fae-sized,” I chuckled. “I can’t really curl up on a couch when I’m fae.”
“This is true,” Alice snickered. “Don’t you get stir-crazy from being inside all the time?”
“My fear keeps me here,” I said. “My ex-husband, he’s …”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Alice said. “Edward said that you were hurt by him. But, I was curious if you wanted to go out, go shopping with me? Have a girl’s day out?”
“You can’t go out like that,” I said, flicking her pointed ears.
“I know,” she giggled. “Charlotte, Rose and Carmen are coming, too. I’m thinking makeovers.”
“Alice, I’m not a girly-girl,” I chuckled.
“A little pampering would be nice,” she said. “Mani/pedi?”
“Pedicure would be perfect,” I said. “And maybe a late lunch.”