Return of the Nerds on AO3
Return of the Nerds on TWCS
Return of the Nerds on FFn
A baby’s cry filled the darkened bedroom of Edward and Bella
Cullen. Bella moaned, shifting further into the warm burrow of her blankets.
She had just fallen asleep. “Edward, it’s your turn,” she griped.
“I was just up with Owen,” he replied, his voice muffled by
his pillow.
“I just housed two humans in my vagina, Edward. I also
endured two months of bed rest and almost three days of labor with them. I
haven’t had more than a half-hour’s worth of sleep since we’ve brought them
home six months ago. Get your scrawny ass out of bed and see which one is
fussing,” Bella spat. She even went so far as kicking Edward in the rear, shoving
him out of the bed and into a heap on the floor. He scowled at his wife’s form,
knowing that she was struggling with the twins, but
Edward just as exhausted as
she was.
Mia and Masen were both extremely colicky and finicky. Mia
would only calm with Bella, and Masen just screamed nonstop, nothing able to
shut him up. Edward got up, tossing on a shirt and padding to the nursery. He
prayed that it was Mia that was crying. He had a fighting chance of getting
sleep with her. Masen, he was determined to suck the life out of both of his
parents with his relentless crying. Peering into the cribs, he saw his youngest
son screaming like a banshee, kicking his feet and twisting in his covers.
“Shit,” Edward groaned. Covering the sheets, Masen, and the
bars of the crib was baby crap. It was smelly and Masen’s twisting body was not
helping the matter. “Come here, little man.” Edward scooped up Masen, stripping
him out of his onesie and diaper, and placed him on the changing table. His
screams did not abate as Edward worked quickly to strip the bed and toss the
sheets into the garbage can that they used for their diapers. The bedding was
not salvageable, nor were Masen’s clothes.
Picking up Masen, Edward carried his squirming, screaming
son to the bathroom to quickly hose him off before dressing him in a fresh
diaper and clean onesie. “Masen, I love you, little man, but you’ve got to give
Mommy and me a break,” Edward sighed, washing the baby crap off of Masen’s pink
skin. “Dude, you got shit in your hair? What am I going to do with you?” Masen
didn’t respond. He just continued to wail. Edward gave Masen a full bath before
he dried him off and dressed him a diaper. Carrying him back to the nursery,
Edward sat down on the rocking chair that Bella used while she was breast
feeding. He cradled Masen to his chest and hummed quietly, hoping that the
resonance of his voice would calm his upset son.
No dice.
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