Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Geek's Guide to Parenthood Teaser

We were nearly back to the villa when Edward sighed. “What’s wrong, angel?”

“I’m kind of dreading our return. To the states, you know? We’ve been in this Italian bubble for the past two months. No worries about Emmett or his fucked-upedness. But, we have to go back in two days and I’m scared, Bella. There’s so much to be scared about. My psycho brother is on the loose. My psycho brother who murdered his own father and is out to kill me. I can’t even imagine anything happening to you, baby. Or Kyra. If something happened to either one of you, I’d die. I can’t…”

“Edward, we’re protected,” I said as I took his hand. “We have Ricky and Johnny. You’re a killer shot. I’m getting better. I get why you’re freaking out. I’m scared, too. But, I can’t let it control my life. Emmett will get is coming to him.”

“Hopefully a life sentence with no chance of parole,” I grumbled. “So he can be a bitch some inmate named Cletus. He can take in the ass.”

“It’s really not that bad,” I giggled.

“When we have anal sex, love, it’s consensual. Plus we’ve worked up to it,” Edward said. “Emmett, will probably just be drilled and he’ll be walking funny for life.”

Edward pulled into the driveway and we headed into the villa. Esme was standing by the door with a huge grin on her face, holding Kyra. “My sweet girl,” I cooed as I took my daughter from Esme’s arms. Kyra smiled as she saw me, flapping her arms excitedly. “Momma’s here, principessa. So is Daddy.” Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and tickled Kyra’s belly with his finger. Kyra squealed gleefully.

“Where you a good girl for Nana?” Edward asked her. Kyra replied with a loud fart. “Oh, my sweet, flatulent daughter.”

“She was quite good. Only one night of fussiness,” Esme said as she kissed Kyra’s forehead. “I think she didn’t like the formula. We ran out of breast milk last night at dinner and had to use formula.”

“Was it organic?” I asked.

“Yes, Bella,” Esme giggled.

“I don’t want that overly processed shit,” I said. “Come on, little one. Let’s get you some real milk, not powdered crap.”

I went out onto the veranda and breast fed my daughter. She curled next to me, sucking the milk from my breast. I sat and caressed her cheek as she ate. Her golden eyes drooped. I hummed quietly. Edward came outside and placed a glace of lemonade on the table. “Happy to have her in  your arms?”

“Incredibly,” I said as I looked at my gorgeous husband. “We’re so lucky, Edward.”

“We are,” he said as he kissed my lips sweetly. “Are you ready for her christening tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Where is everyone?”

“Alice and Jasper are coming in later today. Marcus took Renee, Phil, Charlie and Sue to some vineyard. Demetri and Alex are horseback riding and Rose is passed out. She took care of Kyra while we were gone. Esme said she was practicing for when she had babies.”

“I think that she and Tim are trying for a baby, but it’s not clicking. But then again, Rose was on the shot for several years and her body is getting used not being on it,” I said.

“How long were you on it before you got off it?” Edward asked.

“Less than a year. I was the worst pill taker. I got the shot to stop cramps. Debilitating, I tell you,” I grumbled. Kyra finished her lunch and was nestled against my chest. “I can’t believe we’re going home on Monday.”

“I can’t believe that she’s six weeks old.”

“Actually seven weeks,” I said as I kissed her forehead. Edward crouched down in front of us and smiled sweetly. My perfect family.

xx TGGTP xx

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