The only thing that brought some life to her eyes was when I played the piano. Or sang. For my music theory class, we had to do a great deal of composition and she would sit and listen while I worked on my homework. It was the only time I saw my girl. Other than that, she faded away. Her cinnamon eyes became dull and lifeless. Her face was pulled into a grimace or a sneer. Her posture was defeated.
I drove Bella to Legacy this morning because she slept very little the night before. Her eyes were shut as I drove to Bellevue. I know that I was sporting some substantial under eye circles as I was sleeping even less than Bella. I was doing school work. Working at Dreamstyle. Worrying about her. I was burning the candle at both end and in the middle. I could feel myself move closer to the brink. To a breakdown.
I can’t have that. I needed to get myself under control.
That was another reason why I drove to Legacy. I had an appointment with Dr. Meyers. I needed his help in dealing with my own demons. Seeing Bella like this was causing me to have the overwhelming urge to get some drugs and drown myself in them.
I pulled into the parking lot and caressed Bella’s cheek. She jumped and looked over at me. Her eyes were filled with complete terror. I frowned at her pain. The fact that I caused it. My gaze dropped to my jeans and I apologized. I got out of the car and helped Bella out of the front seat. I followed her at a safe distance to the receptionist’s desk. Much to my chagrin, Lauren was there.
“Good morning, Bella,” she said in a sweet voice. Bella grunted and sat down in the waiting room. “Hello, Edward. How are you doing?”
“I’m fabulous, Lauren. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in nearly a month. I’m tired. I’m cranky and I don’t want to deal with your shit,” I snapped. “Back the fuck off.”
“Asshole,” Lauren snarled.
“Yep. And I’m damn proud of it,” I smiled. “Let Dr. Greene and Dr. Meyers know that we’re here. And close your legs. I don’t want to see all your goodies.”