I was working on the screenplay. I’d created the list of characters, along with actors I’d love to play those roles. I knew it was a pipe dream, but a girl could wish. I’d love for Chris Hemsworth to be the love interest of my main character, but he was probably out of our price-range for the movie.
Though, my mind was thinking that Edward would be a great fit … perhaps for my love interest.
Don’t wish for that … you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve anything.
I hated my inner-voice and how it sounded so much like Jacob. He’d taken so much from me. Too much, to be honest.
When would he stop?
Never.
I shook my head, trying to not think about my awful ex-boyfriend. I needed to focus on the screenplay. So, that’s what I did. Along with the list of actors and actresses, I also began working on paring down the scenes, picking and choosing which ones needed to be in the movie and which ones could be omitted because they didn’t drive the story along.
I wanted to keep all the scenes, as the author. But, as a movie-goer, some scenes would end up on the cutting-room floor.
It was a very tedious process.
As I was working, I was struggling with rereading the novel. It was a fictionalized version of what I’d endured from the moment my father was diagnosed with cancer my junior year of high school until I arrived in San Francisco at the age of twenty-six. Granted, the fictitious me, Charlotte, got a happily ever after with a man who fell in love with her and her son.
My main character wasn’t as emotionally stunted and mentally scarred in the novel. Besides, most readers won’t read a story if it doesn’t have a happily ever after. Long and Winding Road, it meandered and twisted, but Charlotte got her happily ever after.
Me? Not so much …
I was too terrified of opening my heart up to someone, only to have it thrown in my face again like with Jacob.
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