My Addiction: A Ilha do Amor Update

Sunday, October 26, 2014

A Ilha do Amor Update

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“I can’t believe it,” I murmured, overlooking the sunrise. “The day is finally here. My wedding day.”

“The day before your wedding day,” Jasper quipped from his perch on the ladder as we wrapped twinkle lights around the altar. “You still have the rehearsal to get through. Not to mention the separation from your future wife.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” I grumbled. It was the morning of our rehearsal and I was too anxious to sleep. My tossing and turning was keeping Bella awake. We had spent the night making love and Bella was exhausted from our between-the-sheets Olympics. She kicked me out after an hour of my restless movements, telling me to make sure that the beach site was getting set up properly. I got dressed and listened to my future wife’s bidding since Alice was on a rampage. “My sister is honestly scaring me with her control freak tendencies and insistence at keeping us separate before our wedding night.”

“She’s scaring all of us,” Jasper sighed, his smile falling. “Alice needs help, Edward. Only you can convince her to get it. She won’t get the help she needs because you are going on your honeymoon for six weeks. She won’t leave the island. Alice has to go to Eleazar and Carmen to get over this thing she’s battling with seeing James again.”

“I’ll see if I can convince her,” I replied. “She must be battling some form of PTSD or something. Seeing James, reliving all of those moments of terror he imparted on her while they were dating, and watching my villa burn to the ground. I understand why she’s a mess. I do. But it’s so eerie to watch her fall apart."

“I miss her, Edward. I love Alice so much and it kills me that she won’t turn to me for help,” Jasper grumbled. “I want to crush her in my arms and make all of her pain go away.”

“She can’t love anybody else if she can’t love herself, Jasper,” I muttered, wrinkling my nose. That was a feeling I was all too familiar with. I lived in it for ten years. “Everything that has happened, it took her back to a place where she was small and weak.”

“You sound like you know,” Jasper replied, sitting down on one of the chairs set up on the beach.

“I do. I hated myself for the longest time, Jas, and see so much of my behaviors in Alice’s.” Jasper gave me a confused look. “I hated that I let Lauren walk all over me and break me. Hence, Edward, the manwhore, was born. I covered my self-loathing and self-hatred by fucking anything with tits. It wasn’t until my world was sent into a tailspin when I ran into Bella that I realized that I was screwing everything up. With my actions, I was distancing myself from my family. With my overtly sexual behavior, I was objectifying women and doing what Lauren did to me. It was a lonely, bitter life and I didn’t want it anymore. I wanted something special and permanent. I wanted someone to love and be able to love in return. I wanted the happily ever after with the love of my life. When Bella was stuck in my villa during the storm last summer, my heart lurched and I wanted nothing more than to protect her, love her and prove to her that I wasn’t some male slut. That could only come from within me. Yes, Bella helped and her encouragement and love guided me, but most of it was all on me.”

“Do you think that Alice will ever get over this?” Jasper asked. His eyes were shimmering with hope, but there was trepidation written all over his face.

“She did before,” I answered. “With time and help, she will get over it again.”

Inspiration for Bella and Edward's Wedding